So, couple of months ago I watched the movie ‘Someone Great’ – and, basically, I Loved It. It perfectly captures that process of growing up, and that inner struggle between who you’ve been and who you’d wish to be.
It captures your inner and outer worlds, changing and collaborating through the change. The Love, the Scare, the Anger, the Excitement etc. The movie has it all. We all go through it. And that’s the amazing part. We are not alone in the struggles that the change is bringing along. It’s the ultimate test of who we truly are. Everything is transparent.
Of course, the process of getting over a breakup is not a stranger to any one of us. But, what truly touched me, and with what I genuinely connected with, is the path of a friendship through the change. I’ve had many friendships that didn’t end well and some that just naturally ‘died’. I guess I regret the most those that didn’t end great. Somehow, I believe that we all do.
I’ve learned something about a month ago. One of my dearest friends told me that he was going to move to America. And I’m not going to lie to you, in a split of a second, my brain went spinning like crazy! So many negative thoughts came to my mind and I was coming up with lots of silly excuses for why his moving away is a bad idea.
And then something happened. I didn’t say any of those things. When it was time for me to say something, somehow the focus in my head shifted from Me, to Him and his needs, wishes, and dreams. I patted him on the shoulder and such admiration and love came over me, that all I could say to him was – If that is what you believe deep down in your hearth to be your path, then I am giving you all my support and love.
Because, that moment, that decision that he made…It was for HIM. It was about HIS growth and change. And that took COURAGE. To move from Europe to America. A place where he knows no one, all alone. Just to go and make himself a person he wishes to be – that is damn brave. And I respect that.
He is my rock, my life counsel, my friend. And for all those years that he wished me love and happiness, while I was on the path of creating the person that I wished to be – now has come a time for me to be his rock, counsel and friend.
Fast forward to today – he changed his mind (hahahaha). No, he didn’t move to America. He found out that he doesn’t have to move so far away just to create the version of himself he wished to be (This was one of my negative thoughts that I wanted to tell him before, but I choose to let things unfold as they should – because that was a lesson that every one of us needs to learn on our own, that was his path towards the discovery of himself).
And the reason why I’m happy I didn’t say it before is because, let’s face it, it is rare for a young person to learn from the mistakes of other people. We like to make mistakes and learn from them on our own! Who knows, maybe he could have moved to America and made it! And my negative thoughs could have stopped that… We can never know what’s best for someone else. So, we should listen more than we reply and give out our opinions.
Believe it or not, this actually made our friendship stronger than ever! Sometimes, we just need someone who will listen and give us a positive support\
Now we are two rocks, two counsels and two friends growing stronger together. Friends are there to lighten our paths even brighter. To help us see the things when we are ready to see them. To help us love, laugh and grow stronger!
Now that I thinking about it, it looks like all that scare was actually a blessing in disguise. 🙂